The “dark night of the soul” is a term used to describe what one could call a collapse of a perceived meaning in life. The nights which the soul experiences are the necessary purgations on the path to Divine union, of which there are two: the first is of the sensory or sensitive part of the soul, the second of the spiritual part.
I’ve been extremely low for the past few weeks and haven’t been able to get much into the mindset to write. Which is really odd because as a young adult, that was when I was at my most powerful. It’s alarming how hard it becomes to speak your truth when lost in the space of your own mind. Sometimes I wonder if this is my true soul purpose – wouldn’t I dream about it, eat about it, sleep about it and live for it every single day? I find those questions hard to answer some days. Lately, I have felt like I’m stuck in a whirlpool and can’t seem to swim out of the momentum. It’s throwing me completely off balance. I had been in such a positive place since I started this blog. All of the purging was clearing out my head space and heart space of things I no longer needed to carry, but in doing so it’s also brought some things to the surface that were buried deeper than a 6-foot grave.
As I mentioned in “Heart Construction”, living alone has been one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do in the material world and occasionally my emotional one as well. I have been consumed in self-pity; for the fact that I got myself here – drowning in all my debt, swimming in small puddles of loneliness and unimpressed with my career choices. I think it’s safe to say that I dread down days as I’m sure that goes for most everyone. I dread feeling helpless to negative emotion. I dread getting down on myself because then I fear how long it will be before I come back up. It’s an empty and ugly room to reside in, which is why I’ve chosen to write about it. I’m hopeful that once it’s released I can let it go and get back to my journey. My ego is fighting so hard to resurrect itself and fill me with unnecessary anxiety and terror – something I didn’t fully understand the dark depths of until this past year, but my soul will win as soon as I click “Publish”.
“You know the great thing..is that change can be so constant, you don’t even feel the difference until there is one. It can be so slow that you don’t even notice that your life is better or worse, until it is. Or it can just blow you away – make you something different in an instant.” – Life as a House
Check out these links for more information on how this term came about and how to utilize this process to change your life: