Deuces to my Ego

It took me 30 years to realize that loving yourself is a daily choice. I’m talking completely unconditional love. Not just the divine things you are, but with all your demons, your scars and your madness.

It’s hard work to be at your most vulnerable, your most powerful, your most honest and your most accepting. It’s also scary because it requires trusting in your own thoughts and feelings above all else.

It isn’t something you will feel every day. So it’s equally as important to understand that sometimes you will choose to wallow in self-pity, or anger, or sadness. Those are also necessary emotions.

What you need to avoid is drowning in it. The longer you spend swimming in the deep end, the harder it is to find your way back to shore. Eventually the waves will pull you out so far away that you’ll lose sight of it. The ocean will become dark, stormy and filled with sharks. They will bite off your limbs one by one. Eliminating your power by making you feel that you have no other option, but to give up and drown.

Just because you don’t have every limb like you did in the beginning, or the strength, or a life raft or a boat that comes to rescue you, doesn’t mean you can’t save yourself. All it means is that it will be harder and yet more worth it in the end when you finally make it back. And you will.

You will make it back because even when it rains for days, the sun always comes out. Even when it’s cold for months, warmth always touches your skin. Even when you cry a million tears, a smile always finds its way back to your face.

Without darkness, there would be no light. How would one appreciate all the beautiful things in life if there wasn’t something equally as ugly to remind you that both need to exist?

Gratitude for each side is mandatory on the journey to self-love and fulfillment.

You are not perfect. No one is.

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